Meet Dana Thomas
About Me
“If it was so bad, why didn’t you just leave?”
I heard this question after the sudden and tragic death of my abusive husband. This question will forever be burned into my brain. Only in my experience not so much a question, rather a statement of judgement from a “supposed” loved one. It took me two years to land on my feet after my traumatic experience. I was suddenly widowed with two small boys ages 5 and 8. I was a stay-at-home mom with zero self-worth.
I struggled with the symptoms of PTSD for two years before I realized something very profound, and I had one of those lightbulb moments! I remember like it was yesterday; this realization popped into my head while I was driving to pick up my boys; I said it aloud it was such a revelation, “Oh my God! I DID leave!!” I pondered this for a long while, repeating it to myself in bewilderment. It took some time for my truth to resonate and finally sink in. I had lived so long with survivor’s guilt, self-blame and shame. For those two years I was telling myself it was my fault, that I should have left.
The truth is, I did leave and that is the very night he died. Completely unaware at the time, I came to learn my experience is a common outcome with domestic violence. The most dangerous moment for the victims of abuse is when they decide to leave the situation.
My Story
The story ends badly when domestic violence is allowed to play out. My husband was killed when he attempted to forcibly enter the house the kids and I had fled to. He had a history of combative and violent behavior and threatened the lives of those who interfered with his control. It is true that hindsight is 20/20. Looking back, I understand what I was unaware of at the time. My kids and I were the victims of domestic violence. So why did it take me two years to figure this out? It is the cycle of abuse that keeps victims from seeing the truth. I finally realized that it didn’t matter if I had left or if I had stayed. Some people would still react with judgement. If I had stood up for myself when I first heard that question and pointed out that I did leave, there would be another one that followed asking why I didn’t stay. People just don’t get the inside version of domestic violence. Maybe it is out of their own fear that people react to horrific event in the aftermath, like they hold all the answers. I am sure everyone close to me was aware of my situation and chose to turn a blind eye. Or it was easier to be in denial about how things might end up. It wasn’t until AFTER we had a tragedy that people then shared their thoughts or opinions with me. The truth is nobody can say how they would handle a traumatic event until it happens to them.
It is not easy for victims of DV to break free. They have been stripped of any identity and consumed by their lack of self-worth. They become numb to life feeling Isolated, empty, afraid and hopeless. The moment I became aware and admitted to myself that I WAS a woman who lived with an abuser was the beginning of my journey to find resolution within my soul. My journey of self-discovery led me to my passion. I wanted to make a difference in the lives of others who walked the same path I walked. I wanted victims of domestic violence to know they are not walking alone on that isolated path. It came to me like a beam of light, “If I can change my path, then anyone can do it!”I worked my way through school and became a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist. While accumulating my experience as a psychotherapist, my dream was to include horses into my practice. I am excited to see my dream become a reality. I now have created a new path as I partner with my horses, so we can spread this light out to others like me.
About the EGCMethod®
The experience of an Equine Gestalt session is unique for every individual because it is an experiential process where the client can engage in deep reflection upon the self and move toward self fulfillment with the support of the equine and coach partnership. This allows the client to leave their old baggage behind and come into their full potential, deepening the connection between mind, body and soul (wholeness).
Preparing for your EGC Session
Your EGCMethod session with the horse will be outdoors or in an enclosed arena. Be sure to dress appropriately to be outdoors and in the weather. Although you may choose not to go into the pen with the horse, almost everyone does — please wear close toed shoes. You will not ride the horse. No horse experience is necessary.
About our horses and ranch …
Thomas Ridge Ranch was coined in honor of my dad (P. Thomas) and yellow Labrador (Ridge) who both had a zest for life but were taken from us far too early. Our ranch sits on 11.45 acres of rolling “oak-studded” hills in Northern California. We have a clear view of Mt. Lassen, which is beautiful in the springtime.
Sweet Coquette
Sweets is the boss in our herd. She has the perfect name for how big her heart is. She and I have had a heart connection from the moment I laid eyes on her over 12 years ago. She has a beautiful and wise soul. She experienced an incident at her previous owner’s place as a baby that not only caused a scar on her knee, but developed a big boundary with other horses. She is expressive and clear with her emotions, and yet very kind and gentle. She is very clear with her wisdom and will help you discover your truth, following it up with compassionate validation.
Ginger Bread Lady
My great grandmother bred quarter horses and I have always been fond of red duns. I saw Ginger for sale in a local directory. The minute I saw her picture I felt a deep connection with her soul. She has been with us for over 5 years now and has been such a wonderful addition to the barn. She is very sweet and kind. She gets a bit bossed around by the other girls, however has a very forgiving heart. She will quietly sit with you and listen with her entire heart, mind and soul. She gently uses her beautiful brown eyes as the windows to her soul.
Sage
Sage is a quarter horse/thoroughbred cross that came to me through a friend. I consider Sage a rescue from the description of her past. She has had several different owners and is quietly reserved. She loves attention, however is slow to warm up to people. She is definitely not one to be in your back pocket. She is smart and likes to be treated with understanding and patience. Once she knows you are safely standing in your authentic self, she will confirm with clarity.